All Or Nothing
by Judy-Licious
Summary: Yamamoto tries to confess to Gokudera. It takes an excessive amount of senseless violence, exploding restrooms, lots of Mafia Romance Councelling, and a whole millennium's worth of awkward to achieve. — YamamotoGokudera


**Notes:** Basically, two boys being absolute knuckleheads at each other. Again and again and again.  
**Notes 2:** Please don't favorite without reviewing!

* * *

"Squalo," Yamamoto piped up in the middle of a sparring session, "I need your help."

Squalo snorted, brandishing his sword in his typical violent manner that reminded Yamamoto of a carnivore baring its fangs. "Damn right you do. The way you're waving about with that toothpick is an eyesore."

Yamamoto gave a sheepish laugh. "I was talking about dating, actually."

Squalo froze, and stared.

"I'll repay you with Dad's sushi," Yamamoto smiled broadly. "Sound good?"

"You little, useless, _pathetic_ brat asked me to cross an entire ocean for _this_?"

Yamamoto shrugged. "Uh, I guess."

Squalo's left eye twitched. Yamamoto braced himself. "Why can't you just beat the crap out of whoever is so unfortunate to be your love interest and force them to be with you _like a normal person_?" He hollered and cut a giant hole in the wall, for good measure. It was a good thing Yamamoto and his dad were chill guys, otherwise this might have posed a problem.

"I don't think—"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK, MAGGOT," he continued, seething, and jumped outside through the hole. A moment later something in the backyard could be heard being smashed to pieces.

Yamamoto sighed.

* * *

"Hi Gokudera."

Gokudera looked up from washing his hands and scowled. "What do _you_ want?"

Yamamoto rubbed the back of his neck. "Beat the crap out of you," he said. "I think."

It took Gokudera one second to get out his dynamite and bomb the school's boys' restrooms into smithereens.

That was Monday.

* * *

"Are you nervous?"

"I'm not nervous," Tsuna squeaked, all jumpy and ragged breath, but then again he always kind of sounded like that. Especially when Reborn was around. "So about you and Gokudera. What happened between you yesterday?"

"Oh, nothing, really," Yamamoto grinned, leaning against the windowsill, and took a bite out of his lunch. "I just tried to beat him up."

Tsuna blanched, and couldn't help eying Yamamoto's sandwich in deep longing. Reborn had spent all of his lunch money on atomic demolition munitions. Apparently it was common behavior for a mafia boss to be hoarding stuff like this.

"_Why_?"

"I asked Squalo for dating advice and he told me to pummel the person I like."

"You asked _Squalo_?" Tsuna gaped. In a way, it was almost disappointing that this was what shocked him most.

"The more important question is: why are you talking to Tsuna about this?" Reborn said, suddenly standing beside Yamamoto on the sill, clad a zebra costume. Leon sat on his shoulder and yawned. "He has about as much romantic experience as a rock. Also, he isn't acquainted with the Mafia Law for situations like this."

"There are _rules_ for this sort of thing?"

"Shut up," Reborn said and whacked his pupil over the head. "If a member of a family is interested in starting a relationship with one of his fellows, he is required to ask that person for permission by challenging them to a duel."

"What—you mean—SQUALO WAS _SERIOUS_?" Tsuna sputtered and flailed about with his arms like a chicken making the futile attempt to fly. As per usual.

"Okay," Yamamoto said with a good-natured smile. "I just have to win, right? Then he'll have to date me."

Reborn's face broke into a sinister smirk. Tsuna had A Very Bad Feeling about this.

Later that day the three of them waited for Gokudera to show up in Tsuna's bedroom. If nothing else, Gokudera was predictable.

After five minutes the door flung open.

"Hey Tenth, I hope you're well—_wait what the devil is that freak doing here_." At the sight of Yamamoto Gokudera's eyes flickered with murderous intent.

This, Tsuna observed, was not good. But before he could say something to ease the tension, Reborn had him by the collar and dragged him to safety. Together they watched as Tsuna's room was blown to ashes. Aside from this, however, the onslaught did not accomplish much. By the end of it both Gokudera and Yamamoto were knocked out and had to be carried home. Naturally this became Tsuna's task.

Reborn had never felt so good about his life as in that very moment.

* * *

Wednesday.

Yamamoto tried to talk to Gokudera several times, in order to explain his behavior from the previous day, but it soon became apparent that it was pointless. Gokudera simply ignored him, throwing the occasional explosive in his general direction. Though this derailed just slightly from their daily routine, it kind of made Yamamoto worry. At this rate it was going to take him decades just to get to second base.

That night after dinner he flopped down on the couch next to his father, who was watching what seemed to be an extremely old soap opera.

"Hey, um, Dad," he began, realizing the two hadn't had A Talk in quite a while now. "I have a problem. There's, well, there's this guy. At school. Who threatens to shove bombs into my pants. A lot."

"Punch him in the gut."

"I did that already, actually, and I don't really think it's gotten me anywhere. I mean, I want to date him and not to force him to spend the rest of his life in a hospital bed. Besides, he's pretty good at hitting back."

Yamamoto's father choked.

"You all right?"

"Yeah, sure, just, err—I'll be right back." He stood up, went into the kitchen and returned with a can of beer. After he had swigged down about one half of it, he had mustered up enough courage to inquire, "So, you are, uh, _fond_ of that—person?"

Yamamoto nodded. "What can I do to make him like me?"

His dad stared at the TV with an odd look of defeat on his face. "Well, um. You could. That's a very, uh." He grimaced and tippled off the rest of his beer. "Present," he said finally. "Why not give him a present?"

* * *

The next day, once baseball practice was over, Yamamoto went to Namimori's biggest shopping mall, and settled for an expensive silver lighter, a skull engraved in it at the front. With this in tow, he took the train to Gokudera's apartment.

"Oh, God it's you," Gokudera moaned, chewing on his cigarette in agitation. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Yamamoto chose to ignore this. "I have something for you," he announced brightly and held out the lighter.

Gokudera glared at it. "What is that?"

"A lighter," Yamamoto said.

"I can see that," Gokudera ground out between his teeth and spat out his cigarette. "Why are you giving it to me?"

Yamamoto let out a soft laugh. "As a gift, what else?"

Shoving his hands in the pockets of his torn jeans, Gokudera proceeded to examine it more closely for another few moments. "I don't want it," he barked at last.

"Why not?"

Gokudera responded to this by slamming the door in Yamamoto's face.

* * *

"Tsuna, I need your help. It's about Gokudera."

Tsuna's hands fidgeted around the receiver as he reflected that he was probably neither qualified nor in the least ready to deal with whatever obstacle Yamamoto was currently facing in his quest to court Gokudera. He needed Reborn for this, but his home tutor was somewhere in the woods, preparing some training course _with the new nuclear ammunition and oh God he was so screwed why didn't anyone ever care when the city was about bombed down and contaminated with radioactive radiation_.

"Uh, sure."

"What should I to do to make him stop hating me?"

"Honestly, Yamamoto, I don't think I'm the right person to—"

"Who else am I supposed to ask? _Lambo_?" It was the first time Tsuna had ever heard Yamamoto lose his cool. It was strangely soothing, to see he could be weak, too.

Tsuna heaved a sigh. "Look, have you ever tried—I don't know—just telling him how you feel?"

Yamamoto considered this. "He'll set me on fire," he concluded.

"Do you have a better idea?"

* * *

Gokudera made a face.

"Why do you think I shut the door right in front of your nose?"

"Why do _you_ think I bought you that lighter?"

"Why do _you_ think _I_ care?"

Yamamoto drew in a deep breath. "Can you please listen to me? Just for a moment? Then I'll leave."

Gokudera let out something in between a grunt and a snarl. Yamamoto decided to take that as a yes.

"I like you. I mean, really, _really_ like you. That's why I—I was so different these past couple of days. And that's why I'm here now. I want you to go on a date with me."

Silence.

"That was why you attacked me that one time?"

"Yeah."

"And that other time?"

"Yeah."

"YOU FUCKHEAD," Gokudera exploded and charged at Yamamoto with his box weapon. "ARE YOU MENTALLY RETARDED?"

Yamamoto started his strategic retreat.

* * *

The next morning at school he found a small note in his shoe locker:

_Sorry for yesterday. _

_But you're still stupid._

He kept on grinning for the entire week.


End file.
